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We Need People (Not Just Screens)

and What Is Junkyard Jewelry?

Summer Edition 2025:

Part 1:

As a coach, and more importantly as a follower of Jesus, this edition of Gentle Nudgings to Build Courage focuses on something deeply foundational: our God-given need for people, perspectives, and priorities.

Yes, people. Real, live, imperfect, in-the-flesh humans.

There are seasons when we’re called to stand alone—whether for a conviction, a calling, or a deeply held belief. And it’s true: we can learn to rest in the sufficiency of Jesus, to find companionship in His presence, and even enjoy solitude with Him. That’s a beautiful and necessary part of maturing in faith.

But let’s not forget this:
God designed us to need Him—and each other.

Not just content.
Not just social media.
Not even Artificial Intelligence (as helpful as it may be).
But real relationships with real people.

The Power of Human Touch

Years ago, during our season of raising teen boys, I heard family counselor Gary Smalley share a truth that stuck with me: for emotional and relational health, we each need 8 to 12 meaningful touches per day. Simple, affectionate gestures that say: You matter. I see you. I’m here.

So, I got creative and intentional with my sons— occasionally massaging and treating tired, calloused feet after soccer games (they laughed at me for that one!), brushing hair, sneaking in hugs during passing moments. Every night we prayed together at bedtime … right up until the nights before their weddings. We talked. We laughed. We wrestled with life issues as they sat on the kitchen counter or at the table late into the night. I wasn’t perfect as a Mom, but I (both my husband and I) did my (our) best to give them a foundation of love and connection that would help them grow into men who loved Jesus and lived with purpose. Men who prayerfully would be, and I believe are by God’s grace, wonderful husbands and fathers.

Fast Forward to Today …

Now, as a mom, granma, and coach, I’m heartbroken by today’s trends. A recent study reported that up to two-thirds of kids and pre-teens are now regularly using AI chatbots, and over 20% say it feels like talking to a friend. (Irish Independent, Adrian Weckler, 7/14/2025) In addition, I heard on the news that the Gallup Poll stated that 15-25% of young American women say they are lonely.

Kids aren’t the only ones who are lonely and have replaced people with AI and digital “relationships.” Marriages and families are quietly unraveling as fake or curated “relationships” on social media replace real ones. Just this last week, another friend I know lost her marriage due to an emotional connection that started in the digital world. Parents are using Chat GPT to tell bedtime stories instead of reading to their children. (What?)

REMINDER! Chat GPT cannot be used for a moral compass for our children … to teach them about real life, right and wrong! That is our job as parents! Let’s Courage-Up!

I inserted that sentence into Chat GPT, and here is the response:

“You're right to raise that concern. ChatGPT, or any AI for that matter, shouldn't be relied on as a moral compass for kids. Here's why:

1. It’s not human – AI doesn’t have lived experience, empathy, or values shaped by culture, family, or personal growth. It generates responses based on patterns in data, not wisdom or conscience.

2. It’s not accountable – If it gives bad advice or leads someone astray, there’s no responsibility or learning. Moral guidance needs that accountability.

3. It reflects bias – Even the best-trained AI can reflect biases in the data it was trained on. That can lead to skewed, tone-deaf, or even harmful ideas being presented as neutral or acceptable.

4. It lacks nuance – Morality is often about navigating grey areas. AI tends to favor clear, generalized responses over the messy, situational thinking real ethical decisions require.

5. It’s a tool, not a teacher – AI can be helpful for exploring ideas or prompting discussion, but it can’t replace the role of parents, educators, and communities in shaping a child’s moral understanding.”

Let me say it again:

People need people. Real people.

AI is not a substitute for human connection. It never will be.

God made us for relationship.

1. With Him

2. With others

3. With ourselves … taking care of our earthly “tents.”

This is His divine order which He created —and ignoring it leads to restlessness and isolation. We will not be content if we are operating outside the will of God. Full stop.

As a Courage Coach and a follower of Jesus, I know the fear of being alone could be helped by focusing our attention on Jesus, spending time getting to know Him through His Word, and intentionally working on our relationship with Him. Thrusting our hand into His mighty and capable Hand, which fashioned our very hand, and determining to cooperate with trusting His plan for my / our lives. Perhaps as we refocus on Jesus and His plan for our lives ... it will remind us that His plan for us as humans has priorities.

Culture vs. Christ

Our culture says:

• “Self first. Self-care above all.”

• “See and treat people as groups.”

• “I am my own god. I am in control of my life.”

But God’s Word says:

God says: Love God first, neighbors next, and then yourself.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart … and love your neighbor as yourself.”(Mark 12:30–31)

You see, our loving God treats us as individuals, not just data points, and not as groups (which is a Marxist philosophy … not a Biblical philosophy).

He calls us into relationship -- with Him and with each other.

He calls us to love sacrificially and not get caught up in “navel-gazing.” If we focus on loving God, and loving our neighbors, then our hearts will be full (yay … I dare say “topped off”), and we will still have ample energy to take care of our own tents (self-care). (My father-in-law is said to have told my husband back in his childhood days, “Do your chores and feed the dog before you sit down to eat. You’ll never forget to feed yourself, but you might forget to feed the dog!” Wise words!

That’s where courage, healing, and wholeness live, by following God’s design for how we live.

What To Do When You're Lonely

Because let’s be honest: sometimes we all feel lonely.

Here’s what helps me when I do:

1. God First

Spend time with the Lord in Scripture. Listen to worship music that lifts your eyes to Him. (Here is a beautiful song I recommend Joni Eareckson Tada’s moving version of “Alone, Yet Not Alone.” [See the video provided in the RESOURCES Section in the Gentle Nudgings to Build Courage email you received)
Pray and ask God to bring someone to mind—someone who needs connection, too. Ask, “Who Lord, that I know, might be feeling alone today”?

2. Others Next: Love Our Neighbors

Reach out. Don’t wait.
Write the note, send the text, make the call. Send a card.
Can you meet someone for lunch? How about as you walk your dog today ... instead of looking at your phone … offer someone a smile? Start small. Do Something! Listen to the Holy Spirit … reach out!

(Need inspiration? Watch my new pastor, Jason Tippetts, share a powerful message from Romans 12:9–13 on the Hospitality of God. See the video provided in the Gentle Nudgings to Build Courage email you received)

3. Then Yourself

You are not replaceable. You matter. After all, Christ died for you!

Take a moment to assess: what do you need to cooperate with God's plan for your life, such that you can be at your best to give Him glory with your gifts, talents, and abilities? We need to take care of our “tent,” right? What is your plan?

• Move your body?

• Eat well?

• Drink more water?

• Make that medical appointment?

• Spend consistent time in the Word?

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
– Mark Twain

We could say the same for almost anything: If we can but don’t—what’s stopping us?

Do You Have a Plan?

If not—maybe you need someone to walk with you like a “Titus 2” older woman? A trusted friend? Or … maybe a coach?

If you’re struggling with fear, stuck in indecision, or longing for something more—coaching might be your next brave step. I’d be honored to walk with you.

Here’s what you can expect from me as your Courage Coach:

• I’ll lean in, listen well, and love you as a sister in Christ.

• I won’t let you stay stuck in comfort. I will challenge you to grow. My job is not to help you feel comfortable. My job is to help you grow.

“Growth and comfort can't ride the same horse.” – Dr. Margie Warrell

I’ll gently challenge you toward movement—toward growth.

Beauty in the Broken … Wrapping Up

Last year, I picked up a necklace at an art show in Alameda as we enjoyed an afternoon with our Bay Area kids and grandkids —a piece from “Junkyard Jewelry.” The necklace has old clock faces, computer chips, fuses, old broken jewelry, safety pins … and it’s beautiful. Strange and unique and … beautiful!

It reminds me of my unique self. Maybe you, too?

Sometimes I feel like junkyard jewelry—all my “broken” pieces strung together. But I’m learning to see the beauty God creates through what’s been cracked, lost, worn, or scarred.

He is The Master Artist. I am not alone.

And you? You’re part of His design. You are not alone either!

Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

So, if you’re feeling broken, lonely, or just unsure of what comes next … reach out. Let’s string the pieces together and see what God is making.

Hugs and Blessings,

Your Courage Coach