The Courage to Be Alone: The Case for Staying Connected … Maybe Even Coached … By a Human

Have you ever felt alone, even when you're surrounded by people? I sure have. In fact, I’ve noticed that this feeling of aloneness is becoming more common—especially among women I know. Many are active on social media, yet when real-life connection is possible, they pull back: arriving late, leaving early, or skipping the invite altogether. I’ll be honest—sometimes I do the same!

Why? Because we’re complicated. Some of us, like introverts, recharge in solitude. Extroverts come alive in crowds. Then there are ambiverts like me, who enjoy both but find deep value in quiet moments alone. That’s where I “recharge my battery,” as my Mom used to say. Yet even for those of us who value solitude, there’s a difference between alone and lonely. And the latter is creeping in more than we might care to admit.

In many cases, loneliness isn’t just circumstantial—it’s self-inflicted. We choose Google, Facebook, or Instagram over coffee with a friend. We’re turning to total strangers—unvetted, unknown—for advice on how to live our lives. We scroll through YouTube and take life advice from people we’ve never met and probably [maybe] shouldn’t be influenced by. Why? Or we try to coach ourselves through tough seasons, “doing our own online research,” thinking, I can figure this out. And maybe we do at some level—but at what cost? The creeping sense of disconnection grows. Then we wonder why meaningful interaction feels harder to come by.

It can take Courage to:

A) Be “alone” and turn to the Lord for our comfort and fill that need for companionship with the Holy Spirit.

B) Be the initiator of relationships with humans that are flawed (like we all are), made of mud, and may or may not be responsive. Be the friend and encourager.

C) Be vulnerable and turn to humans with those “needs” instead of AI, maybe sharing with another woman (think Titus 2) or a coach.

As AI accelerates, is human-to-human interaction becoming less relevant? What do you think?

My “take” as a seasoned Courage Coach for women, and as a follower of Jesus, I believe AI has the potential to increase isolation and loneliness exponentially and be used by the enemy of God to point us away from our relationships with God and with others if used for the wrong reason. The end result of its misuse … we are self-focused and feeling alone rather than following the Word of God in Mark 12:30-31, loving Him and loving others.

Where Does AI Fit Into This Loneliness Puzzle?

Now enter AI. I admit, I love asking AI to help me fine-tune my words from time to time. It’s impressive. It has its uses and benefits. But I also personally find it unsettling that people are turning to AI for emotional support, even to the point of “marrying” their AI companions. People are creating these companions out of “loneliness.”

Really? Yes, really!

Here is the definition of AI Companion when I googled it:

“An AI companion is a type of artificial intelligence application designed to provide simulated conversation, companionship, or interaction with a human user, often through chatbots or virtual characters. These companions can offer various forms of support, from emotional and mental health to daily planning and even romantic interaction. They are becoming increasingly popular as people seek out digital companions for various needs”

Please note that AI wasn’t contacting them for a “relationship” … they were proactively seeking a “relationship” with _____ [hmmm… good question … a computer?]. Well, with a “relationship” with a piece of technology that is not designed for relationships.

Some people are even using AI for coaching.

When I asked AI itself about this trend, it responded:

“AI can be used in coaching to provide accessible and personalized support, but it's unlikely to fully replace human coaches, especially in roles requiring complex emotional intelligence and nuanced understanding.”

Well, at least AI knows its limits. But this trend of all things “AI” makes me wonder: are we trying to build another Tower of Babel?

We, the “created,” have attempted throughout history to become all-wise, all-knowing, and build our own Towers, you know? I wonder how long the Lord will tolerate our quest to become as much like Him as we possibly can, as AI accelerates, and human-to-human interaction becomes seemingly less relevant?

Genesis 11:1-9, the Tower of Babel and the Rise of AI

In Genesis 11, people decided to build a tower to reach the heavens, to make a name for themselves. God stepped in, disrupted their plans, and scattered them. Why? Because they were becoming too self-reliant, forgetting Who gave them their abilities in the first place and their created purpose to glorify Him alone.

AI, like the Internet, is a powerful tool. But it can’t replace human connection. People need People! It can’t laugh with you, cry with you, or pray with you. As a Christian Courage Coach, I can pray with you in the moment and intercede for you long after our coaching session ends. I can listen between the lines. I can share my own messy, human story—because yes, I’m made of mud too. But that’s the beauty of it: human-to-human coaching is real. Relational. Sacred. Flawed but beautiful! (Remember the Junkyard Jewelry Necklace?)

Don’t Trade People for Programs: Social Media, AI, Internet

I know women whose only friendships are online. They’ve never met their friends face to face. Yikes. We were made for more than likes and DMs. We were made for touch, connection, and yes, relationships!

Mental health experts, like Gary Smalley (MFT and author I followed in the 90s), say we need 8-12 meaningful touches a day. That might include connections of smiles, hugs, kind words, or genuine eye contact. So, I’m on a daily Treasure Hunt—smiling at neighbors, chatting with grocery clerks, giving little blessings where I can. It helps. Try it. It helps others who are maybe feeling lonely … and when I am lonely, it helps me too. It helps me to focus on others, rather than myself, when I am feeling alone.

Keep Showing Up

Go to church. Yes, in person. If you're sick, online is a great tool. But if you're not—show up! (Hebrews 10:25) Hug someone. Say hi. Don’t wait for someone to approach you. Find someone who looks like they need a friend and be one. 😊 And … remember … church is about worshipping God together and sitting at His feet to learn from His Word. Yes, it is a social gathering, but the purpose isn’t to be seen, to catch up with friends, etc. It is to worship Him and learn from Him collectively … and teach the next generation to do the same! The “next generation” is our kids and families and those that we are bringing along in the faith.

My Encouragement to You … Keep Coaching with Humans!

I’ve been coached and I’ve coached women for almost 17 years now (officially, as a Master Certified Christian Life Coach). There’s nothing like it. It is amazing to see from a front-row view how God works in the lives of women to gently, and sometimes profoundly, transform them! Human-to-human coaching can help you get unstuck and also to gain perspective. Whether by phone, Zoom, or in person, coaching offers clarity, encouragement, and a way forward.

Will I Always Be Coaching?

Hmm … I’m not sure of that either. But please don't misunderstand that comment!

I love coaching women—truly, it’s been one of the most meaningful experiences of my life! If you’ve been considering Courage Life Coaching with me, please don’t wait too long. Life keeps marching on—and let’s be honest, A.I. seems to be trying to take over! 😄L.O.L.

Seriously, I’d be honored to walk with you—even if just for a short season. Coaching isn’t for everyone ... but if you need or want a coach I’d love to be yours!

Hebrews 10:25 (ESV): “… not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

So, here’s your coaching challenge: Don’t give up on people, aka humans. Feeling alone or lonely? Say hi. Smile. Be a friend. Give a hug. … Maybe even be coached. 😊 Get back in the mix with people, real people. We need each other.

Hugs and Blessings,

P.S. If you know someone who might benefit from coaching, I’d be honored by your referral. And if you need prayer, I’m always just a message away. Let’s be two of each other’s 12 meaningful connections today!